Oh to be young, and without worries.
As I was walking into work today, A 15 year old girl was setting up for her birthday a few tables down. She had I about six girls surrounding her, and a box of cupcakes in the middle. I stood at the door and watched them for a few minutes. Before the cupcakes could be opened, they all stood up, put palms to palms, swayed back and forth and chanted some for of secret language. It was strange, but they didn't seem to care what anyone else thought.Because they are young, innocent, and wild.
I can remember being that young once, Im not too old now. But the feeling of being young, and not having so many worries and responsibilities on your shoulder. As i sit up and write this entry, i feel tired and worn out after a long weekend, and a long week awaiting me. I remember not going to sleep until the early hours of the morning, and being able to go and go all day the next day.
When did i become so old?
As i got older, my heels got higher, my shirts and shorts got lower, my hair got longer, and my makeup got heavier. My taste in men changed, and my view on innocence changed, as did my definition of wild.
But my heart hasnt seemed to age much. I still dream too big and get lost in my fantasies.
I feel like that is the only thing that keeps me young, that keeps anyone young. The innocent dreaming, and imagining that this world isnt as dark and dangerous as it really is, and that this society isnt as corrupt and selfish as we know it to be. I believe that the small pieces of innocent dreaming we have left in us is what keeps us dreaming, and what keeps us young. No matter how old we get.
The reality that my website and blog will ever truly become what i want it to be in my head, a beacon for women like me. A place that inspires others to follow their dreams, and that need to be recognized and noticed be fed into. The reality is that it wont ever be that, but the hope, the dream of it becoming more than that is what keeps me going. What keeps me writing, and what keeps me pouring my heart and soul into making my website all that I want.
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing your hardest. Never let defeat after a loss keep you from hoping for a win. Never let anyone tell you that your not good enough to play this game called life, that your not skilled enough to play in the position you want.
And most of all, dont let the reality of life, stop you from dreaming.
Keep sweet, and Keep Dreaming
XoXo
Sophie
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Hunting 101
House hunting is possibly the most frustrating thing in the world.
Either the house is too far, doesnt allow pets, the agent decides to take a vacation the day we all take off work. Or the rent is so high we would have to start black marketing our organs.
Trust me, if you can live at home. Do it. The world is so expensive, and only the rich and famous can survive.
But I have a list, a very important list that ive carried around mentally while we were looking for houses. Maybe this will help you if youve got a house hunting expedition in the near future.
1- If your moving in with roomates... Do you like them? Do you reallly like them? Because your stuck with them for a year. So you better like them.
2- If using an Agent, find a reliable one. If you find one and they constantly flake..find another if possible.
3- Once you find a house.. Dont let the house blind you from the price, or the price blind you from the house.
- If the house is massive and wonderful, dont mentally push the price of the rent to the back of your mind just because you like it. You wont like it near as much when your picking up extra shifts to try and pay rent.
- If the rent price is low, and the house is decent, dont just overlook things like rotting decks and decaying side paneling. If you can, pay more money for a structure safe house. It pays off in more ways in the end than you realize.
4- It takes more money to fix up an okay house, than it does to pay more for a great house.
5- Utilities are not included. Ever. Keep in mind you could be paying up to 200$ extra a month.
6- If you have pets, like me. Make sure your roomies are A-Ok with them, and dont even look at houses or apartments that dont accept pets. It set's up you and your roomies for a waste of time.
7- Can you afford it? Im guessing this should be my first point. But sometimes you have to see how much it costs before you can come up with a price range.
But for those who it may concern, these are my 7 top mental checklists. This economy is bombed, so trying to find a good place, with a reasonable price, and normal renters is probably the hardest thing ive had to do at the point.
Oh, and convince everyone in my life that i can, indeed handle it. And that my roommates are not plundering pirates here to take me life and my dignity.
In other news, snow has arrived to my wonderful town, and people are raiding the stores like its The Day After Tomorrow. Im actually glad i can go to work and avoid idiots today.
Be Kind, and Keep Hunting,
xoxo Sophie
Either the house is too far, doesnt allow pets, the agent decides to take a vacation the day we all take off work. Or the rent is so high we would have to start black marketing our organs.
Trust me, if you can live at home. Do it. The world is so expensive, and only the rich and famous can survive.
But I have a list, a very important list that ive carried around mentally while we were looking for houses. Maybe this will help you if youve got a house hunting expedition in the near future.
1- If your moving in with roomates... Do you like them? Do you reallly like them? Because your stuck with them for a year. So you better like them.
2- If using an Agent, find a reliable one. If you find one and they constantly flake..find another if possible.
3- Once you find a house.. Dont let the house blind you from the price, or the price blind you from the house.
- If the house is massive and wonderful, dont mentally push the price of the rent to the back of your mind just because you like it. You wont like it near as much when your picking up extra shifts to try and pay rent.
- If the rent price is low, and the house is decent, dont just overlook things like rotting decks and decaying side paneling. If you can, pay more money for a structure safe house. It pays off in more ways in the end than you realize.
4- It takes more money to fix up an okay house, than it does to pay more for a great house.
5- Utilities are not included. Ever. Keep in mind you could be paying up to 200$ extra a month.
6- If you have pets, like me. Make sure your roomies are A-Ok with them, and dont even look at houses or apartments that dont accept pets. It set's up you and your roomies for a waste of time.
7- Can you afford it? Im guessing this should be my first point. But sometimes you have to see how much it costs before you can come up with a price range.
But for those who it may concern, these are my 7 top mental checklists. This economy is bombed, so trying to find a good place, with a reasonable price, and normal renters is probably the hardest thing ive had to do at the point.
Oh, and convince everyone in my life that i can, indeed handle it. And that my roommates are not plundering pirates here to take me life and my dignity.
In other news, snow has arrived to my wonderful town, and people are raiding the stores like its The Day After Tomorrow. Im actually glad i can go to work and avoid idiots today.
Be Kind, and Keep Hunting,
xoxo Sophie
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Who Am I?
Its now 2013!
A New Year!
I know its about a week too late, and about 2 weeks since ive written anything. But life gets in the way.
But as this year began, i felt like i could breathe a sigh o relief. That hell of a year was over, and i could finally start somewhere new. And as i was thinking of where i was, to where ive been, to where i am now. I couldn't help wonder who I was, or at least who Ive become. Im so much different than i was.
My views of Marriage are completely different, considering i was almost close to it.
My Family has become such an important part of my life, but in such a different way.
My Friend's have become my life-force, more than ever before.
Im breaking out of what i used to be, and what people know me as. And not everyone is pleased about it.
The thing about figuring out who you want to be, is that not everyone wants you to change. Those that adjust and accept the change, are the ones who truly love you. And don't just love you because of who they think you are. That seems to always be the hard part, learning who will turn their back on you when you make a life decision that they don't agree with.
Its hard to not get bitter at those people. Its hard to remember that they are only doing what they know, and are reacting in the way they have their entire life. It's hard to accept that you, yourself changed. That your not the same person anymore, not who you used to be. So,... this is not a "New Years" post, its just a "My Year" post.
What Ive learned so far:
-Be true to yourself
-Dont beat yourself up for changing.
-Accept who you are, embrace it. Love yourself. Your the one who has to live with you forever.
-Never settle for men who make you step down to get to their level.
-Friends and Jobs will go, but if you have no family that loves and supports you and your decisions, its a hard life.
-Never keep a job that kills your creativity and passion.
-You dont have to love your job, you dont even have to like it. But what you do, make sure it still can make you happy.
- Dont let your failures keep you from fighting for the future.
-Budget. Budget everything. Your time, your money, your shampoo. Because Time is a precious thing we cannot waste.
-To take a moment everyday, and remember why you have the most amazing life. And that you are truly blessed.
Ten things in Ten days. It seems like a lot, but you wouldn't believe that when you start to change, and when you actually stop and think, how much has changed with you.
Who am I?
Well, im learning. And Its one of the most exciting moments. To find that you are starting fresh, clean and new. To taste independence and not drown. To know love, and if not kept too, turns to hate. To meet disappointment and judgement with a smile, because bitterness is hard to forget.
Hope your New Year is YOUR year. Dont even let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game. Do what you want, chase your dreams. Buy a plane ticket with tax returns. Go on adventure. Fall in love, and fall in love again. Eat too much, and sleep it off. Laugh more, and greet everyday with a incredible feeling of "What adventure awaits me today?"
Be Kind and Be Yourself,
With Love,
Sophie
A New Year!
I know its about a week too late, and about 2 weeks since ive written anything. But life gets in the way.
But as this year began, i felt like i could breathe a sigh o relief. That hell of a year was over, and i could finally start somewhere new. And as i was thinking of where i was, to where ive been, to where i am now. I couldn't help wonder who I was, or at least who Ive become. Im so much different than i was.
My views of Marriage are completely different, considering i was almost close to it.
My Family has become such an important part of my life, but in such a different way.
My Friend's have become my life-force, more than ever before.
Im breaking out of what i used to be, and what people know me as. And not everyone is pleased about it.
The thing about figuring out who you want to be, is that not everyone wants you to change. Those that adjust and accept the change, are the ones who truly love you. And don't just love you because of who they think you are. That seems to always be the hard part, learning who will turn their back on you when you make a life decision that they don't agree with.
Its hard to not get bitter at those people. Its hard to remember that they are only doing what they know, and are reacting in the way they have their entire life. It's hard to accept that you, yourself changed. That your not the same person anymore, not who you used to be. So,... this is not a "New Years" post, its just a "My Year" post.
What Ive learned so far:
-Be true to yourself
-Dont beat yourself up for changing.
-Accept who you are, embrace it. Love yourself. Your the one who has to live with you forever.
-Never settle for men who make you step down to get to their level.
-Friends and Jobs will go, but if you have no family that loves and supports you and your decisions, its a hard life.
-Never keep a job that kills your creativity and passion.
-You dont have to love your job, you dont even have to like it. But what you do, make sure it still can make you happy.
- Dont let your failures keep you from fighting for the future.
-Budget. Budget everything. Your time, your money, your shampoo. Because Time is a precious thing we cannot waste.
-To take a moment everyday, and remember why you have the most amazing life. And that you are truly blessed.
Ten things in Ten days. It seems like a lot, but you wouldn't believe that when you start to change, and when you actually stop and think, how much has changed with you.
Who am I?
Well, im learning. And Its one of the most exciting moments. To find that you are starting fresh, clean and new. To taste independence and not drown. To know love, and if not kept too, turns to hate. To meet disappointment and judgement with a smile, because bitterness is hard to forget.
Hope your New Year is YOUR year. Dont even let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game. Do what you want, chase your dreams. Buy a plane ticket with tax returns. Go on adventure. Fall in love, and fall in love again. Eat too much, and sleep it off. Laugh more, and greet everyday with a incredible feeling of "What adventure awaits me today?"
Be Kind and Be Yourself,
With Love,
Sophie
Monday, December 24, 2012
Mine!
Women are incredibly territorial and possessive.
You dump a guy for whatever reasons... Not being you type, not into him anymore, he is boring. You know, legitimate reasons for why you no longer want to see him. I've found that most of the time these types of relationships weren't long, and they normally ended with one person more attached than the other.
But we as women , who so the breaking up with are fine. Until the man shows interest in another woman. It's like we expect this man to want us forever or until we find a new man. And if he finds someone first, oh it's on.
You play with his emotions to get him back to being wrapped around your finger again and then when he gets too close you push him away, and the cycle repeats. Why? Because us women never know how to let go.
The truth is you don't even like the guy, you honest to God don't. It's nothing personal, you just couldn't find it within yourself to date him. But you end up missing him, talking about him excessively to your friends, dreaming about him. Constantly checking you emails, texts, facebooks and instagrams to see what this guy is up to and who he is doing it with. And you don't even like him!
Why do us women do this to ourselves? Why so we miss a man we didn't want? Do we miss the attention? The feelings of butterflies in he beginning? Or do we just miss being needed and being wanted.
All I know is its gotta stop! We have to stop terribly ruining these men! So what he stars dating a slut with fake hair! You didn't like him in the first place so it shouldn't Matter now!
Accept the fact that you weren't gunna work out, go out with girlfriend until you get your groove back and get back into the game and go break some more unsuspecting hearts!
Be kind, and stay away!
Xoxo
Sophie
You dump a guy for whatever reasons... Not being you type, not into him anymore, he is boring. You know, legitimate reasons for why you no longer want to see him. I've found that most of the time these types of relationships weren't long, and they normally ended with one person more attached than the other.
But we as women , who so the breaking up with are fine. Until the man shows interest in another woman. It's like we expect this man to want us forever or until we find a new man. And if he finds someone first, oh it's on.
You play with his emotions to get him back to being wrapped around your finger again and then when he gets too close you push him away, and the cycle repeats. Why? Because us women never know how to let go.
The truth is you don't even like the guy, you honest to God don't. It's nothing personal, you just couldn't find it within yourself to date him. But you end up missing him, talking about him excessively to your friends, dreaming about him. Constantly checking you emails, texts, facebooks and instagrams to see what this guy is up to and who he is doing it with. And you don't even like him!
Why do us women do this to ourselves? Why so we miss a man we didn't want? Do we miss the attention? The feelings of butterflies in he beginning? Or do we just miss being needed and being wanted.
All I know is its gotta stop! We have to stop terribly ruining these men! So what he stars dating a slut with fake hair! You didn't like him in the first place so it shouldn't Matter now!
Accept the fact that you weren't gunna work out, go out with girlfriend until you get your groove back and get back into the game and go break some more unsuspecting hearts!
Be kind, and stay away!
Xoxo
Sophie
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Changing Trains
It seems that everything comes to an end, this time sooner than later.
It was a short lived romance, a small jolt on the screen. But in the end
it fell flat.
But as women we always tend to feel disappointed after a date gone bad or a relationship didn't work out the way we hoped. Because we set out in the beginning thinking that this man is the one! Maybe not the "one". But the one for right now at least. That he will magically make you past relationship seem like nothing because he will prove you completely wrong about men!
Reality check, most men are alike. It's the women that change so irrationally and without reason. So I decided the only person who can change my past relationship from a failure is me. I have to choose to forget about it, and keep lookin through the mass of men in this town. All who look younger than they are, and act even younger than they look. I guess now I understand the reasoning behind all those women in the 1800s dating men three times their age. They knew exactly how to treat a woman, whether she be 15 or 25. Tsk tsk. Men these days.
But another somewhat exciting chapter has closed, the boy with the blonde hair is no more. And I guess it's time to see if there is anyone in this town who actually knows what it means to be an adult. But for today ill type away on my computer at work, making copies and doing all the wonderfully office like things you can do.
Be kind and curious,
Xoxo
Sophie
But as women we always tend to feel disappointed after a date gone bad or a relationship didn't work out the way we hoped. Because we set out in the beginning thinking that this man is the one! Maybe not the "one". But the one for right now at least. That he will magically make you past relationship seem like nothing because he will prove you completely wrong about men!
Reality check, most men are alike. It's the women that change so irrationally and without reason. So I decided the only person who can change my past relationship from a failure is me. I have to choose to forget about it, and keep lookin through the mass of men in this town. All who look younger than they are, and act even younger than they look. I guess now I understand the reasoning behind all those women in the 1800s dating men three times their age. They knew exactly how to treat a woman, whether she be 15 or 25. Tsk tsk. Men these days.
But another somewhat exciting chapter has closed, the boy with the blonde hair is no more. And I guess it's time to see if there is anyone in this town who actually knows what it means to be an adult. But for today ill type away on my computer at work, making copies and doing all the wonderfully office like things you can do.
Be kind and curious,
Xoxo
Sophie
The Clock is Ticking
Today has been an interesting day. To say the least.
Recovering from being sick and in between broke and tired. But the sound that filled my ears and sent a smile to my lips was the roaring of the motorcycle engine outside my apartment.
He is finally back home. Now as I type, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slumbers away beside me, I sit here and wonder how many days, hours and minutes we spend waiting. Waiting for work to end, for Friday to be here. For the next party, event or outing. We're always waiting for something. And you can't say your not, because right now your waiting to see what point I'm going to make out of this, your waiting to get tired, waiting to go to be so you can start Tuesday tomorrow. We are always, always waiting.
And I'm sorry I don't seem to have any type of revelation, other than why wait for one? I waited all day to hear that low rumble, to hear the clanging of keys on the chair by the door. To hear the mud stained boots clunk across the living room to my tiny kitchen. To catch his sent of dirt, smoke and Shampoo. I waited all day for it.
And now that's its come, I still feel like I'm waiting for the next thing to happen. Do we DTF? Define our relationship? Do we keep up this charade that we aren't together, even though we spend almost every night together.
So many questions that must wait for an answer.
Sometimes, I think we should forget about waiting, and just watch. Watch the present unfold like a magical story. And the next page will just have to wait to be turned. Because right now, as confusing as it is in my head, as uncertain as the future is. I want to live in this moment, where I can shut my computer, turn of the light and wrap my arms around a fleeting thought. That maybe, I won't have to wait for happiness. Maybe it's already here.
Keep kind and curious, xoxo
Sophie
Recovering from being sick and in between broke and tired. But the sound that filled my ears and sent a smile to my lips was the roaring of the motorcycle engine outside my apartment.
He is finally back home. Now as I type, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest as he slumbers away beside me, I sit here and wonder how many days, hours and minutes we spend waiting. Waiting for work to end, for Friday to be here. For the next party, event or outing. We're always waiting for something. And you can't say your not, because right now your waiting to see what point I'm going to make out of this, your waiting to get tired, waiting to go to be so you can start Tuesday tomorrow. We are always, always waiting.
And I'm sorry I don't seem to have any type of revelation, other than why wait for one? I waited all day to hear that low rumble, to hear the clanging of keys on the chair by the door. To hear the mud stained boots clunk across the living room to my tiny kitchen. To catch his sent of dirt, smoke and Shampoo. I waited all day for it.
And now that's its come, I still feel like I'm waiting for the next thing to happen. Do we DTF? Define our relationship? Do we keep up this charade that we aren't together, even though we spend almost every night together.
So many questions that must wait for an answer.
Sometimes, I think we should forget about waiting, and just watch. Watch the present unfold like a magical story. And the next page will just have to wait to be turned. Because right now, as confusing as it is in my head, as uncertain as the future is. I want to live in this moment, where I can shut my computer, turn of the light and wrap my arms around a fleeting thought. That maybe, I won't have to wait for happiness. Maybe it's already here.
Keep kind and curious, xoxo
Sophie
To Change or Not to Change?
Sometimes I wonder if people ever really change. We have all these
cliche sayings like "you can take the girl out of the city, but can't
take the city out of the girl." I've honestly never really understood
them. But they seem to be true, maybe?
I've gone through different relationships and friendships and there always come a point in the relationship where someone either changes or is asked to change. The question is "do we ever really change? Or do we just change the way we do/say things to the person who needs the change?"
Out of the men I've dated in my life so far, none of them ever changed. Maybe it's because you really can't change a man. Maybe no matter how many times they say they will change, they won't. They will just change the way they promise to change.
Hmm food for thought.
But I'm in the process of possibly dating this guy, and he has already told me he stopped or "changed" something in his life that I wasn't really cool with (if we ended up being in a relationship of course!) I guess I'll just have to see, maybe he is the one that can change me?
Now there is a scary idea.
Marriage? Me?
Nah;)
Xoxo,
Sophie
I've gone through different relationships and friendships and there always come a point in the relationship where someone either changes or is asked to change. The question is "do we ever really change? Or do we just change the way we do/say things to the person who needs the change?"
Out of the men I've dated in my life so far, none of them ever changed. Maybe it's because you really can't change a man. Maybe no matter how many times they say they will change, they won't. They will just change the way they promise to change.
Hmm food for thought.
But I'm in the process of possibly dating this guy, and he has already told me he stopped or "changed" something in his life that I wasn't really cool with (if we ended up being in a relationship of course!) I guess I'll just have to see, maybe he is the one that can change me?
Now there is a scary idea.
Marriage? Me?
Nah;)
Xoxo,
Sophie
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